


against all odds

by ladystarsky



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Mike Ross/Rachel Zane, everyone is okay with everyone in the end, ik it sEEMS BAD BUT, oh and i guess this is, rachel and louis may look like bad guys for a while, sorry folks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:07:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24518161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladystarsky/pseuds/ladystarsky
Summary: “Harvey Reginald Specter, you’re under arrest for conspiracy to commit fraud and for the cover up of your little boy toy here. You— well, you know the rest.” Gibbs grinned as the two police officers stepped forward, handcuffs in hand. Harvey stood still, for once speechless, and Mike had to hold back every muscle in his body to prevent himself from beating the shit out of this woman and fleeing the country with Harvey.“Bullshit, on what grounds? You have no proof; I never turned Harvey in.” Mike took a step in front of his friend, an arm stretched out to prevent anyone from coming near. Harvey stayed uncharacteristically silent.“I never said you had to be the one to turn him in,” Gibbs stated simply, and Mike felt the world around him begin to collapse.—In which Harvey is the one going to prison, and Mike is the one fighting for a way out of this mess.
Relationships: Mike Ross/Harvey Specter
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	1. family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike began flipping through his suits. What does a man wear on the day that might be his last? He paused at a blue, faintly pinstriped one and smiled. It was one Harvey had given him for his first birthday at the firm, along with a fat tie that he told Harvey would, quote, ‘make him look like a dickhead’. Harvey had laughed before cracking a joke at Mike’s ‘sad skinny ties’. He pulled it down from the closet, removing it carefully from the hanger.
> 
> “That’s a nice suit,” Rachel said from behind him.
> 
> “Harvey gave it to me.” He said simply, as though it explained everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first parts a little bit of a rehash, but it's just to show the emotional turmoil that leads into the canon divergence. also small warning... while i don't condone any bashing of any characters and will certainly never do any bashing of any characters, i'm just going to put this out there in case my bias shows through in this fic: i don't like rachel and it has nothing to do with the fact that i ship marvey, i just don't like her. sorry.  
> -  
> basically i had started this last year 2019 when suits was still kickin' and wrote this whole thing and totally forgot about it until now haha. i lost interest in continuing this story as i was... i guess you could say ambivalent about the final season and where the overall storyline was going. but i figure hey, i wrote quite a bit of this, might as well post it and see where it goes. so enjoy!

“You listen to me. I may have hired a fraud, but you're the one who had the chance to turn him in and you used his secret to get what you always wanted. So, don't come here at the eleventh hour trying to blame me for having to sleep in the bed that you made.” Harvey was past the point of caring, and Louis could see that written all over his face. Louis stood there, mouth agape, trying to find his words. Harvey was right; he hated to admit it, but they were all going to hell together, whether he liked it or not.

“I don't want to go to prison, Harvey.” he said instead, voice filled with fear. Harvey looked at him with what seemed like compassion in his eyes, and Louis could feel a part of him inside break. He didn’t actually hate Harvey, and no matter what Harvey did Louis doubted he could ever bring himself to hate the man. He had gone through the ranks with Harvey, had worked together as associates, as partners, as _friends_. But this whole mess was Harvey’s fault—no matter how he looked at it it was—and the firm didn’t deserve to go down for his shitty decision five years ago.

Hiring Mike was Harvey’s call, and to hell, it was the wrong one.

Louis didn’t even blame Mike all that much; it wasn’t really the kid’s fault and Louis knew that anyone in Mike’s position would have done the same. The kid had an opportunity of a lifetime: skip law school and become a lawyer at a top tier firm. Mike had needed the money for his grandmother too, and Harvey gave him the opportunity to have it, to earn it. Harvey dangled a lifeline in front of his eyes, and Mike wasn’t an idiot.

Louis understood how important family was, and that Mike would do anything for family. Louis would do anything for family too, which was why _he_ was making _this_ call. The firm was Louis’ family, and it always has been and always would be, and goddammit he thought Harvey, of all people, would understand that. The firm was everything he had, has, and would have.

Louis can’t lose the firm.

He can’t lose his family.

Harvey was a part of that family of course, him and Louis even bickered like brothers. Of course Louis didn’t want to see Harvey behind bars, but if it was either Harvey or the firm, Harvey or Donna Jessica Rachel Mike…

Harvey of all people should understand.

_This was all his fault._

Harvey dangled a lifeline in front of Mike’s eyes in exchange for putting everyone else’s life on the line. He put all of them in danger, and to hell with Harvey if he was going to let everyone Louis ever loved take the fall for his shitty judgement call.

He looked Harvey dead in the eye, desperately searching for comfort. If Harvey had a real way of getting them all out of this shitty mess, he wouldn’t have to do what he was about to do.

He begged that he wouldn’t have to do what he was about to do.

Louis truly believed Harvey was a great lawyer, but to get them out of this mess he would need to be a _fucking God_.

Louis really, really hoped Harvey was God.

Harvey took a breath. “Then get out of my way, and let me do what I do.” He spoke confidently, like he was sure this would all work out, and for a split second Louis almost believed everything would be alright. Almost.

Louis had known Harvey for years, and if he couldn’t tell when the man was lying he wouldn’t have become such a good lawyer. Louis could see the stress lines, the nervous sweat, the panic hiding under the posh, confident, dickhead exterior, and Louis closed his eyes momentarily, feeling overwhelmed.

Reluctantly, Louis stepped aside. Harvey looked at him for a second with a strange look on his face, as if he wanted to say more. But as it were, Harvey chose to nod curtly at him before passing to exit out the doors. Louis watched him leave, and a single word floated around in his head.

_Traitor._

Because if Harvey truly cared about Mike, about any of them, he would turn himself in.

_“You hired a fraud.”_

Louis stood in the middle of the lobby, unable to bring himself to move from his spot. He slowly reached into his jacket pocket to pull out his Dictaphone. The light was blinking red. His hands were shaking at this point, but what was done was done. He stopped the recording and pressed the playback button.

_“I may have hired a fraud, but you're the one who—”_

He could delete it right now, and no one would ever know. Maybe Harvey would get Mike acquitted, then the whole gang could celebrate and sing ‘kum ba yah’ while sipping Harvey’s expensive whiskey, and eventually this whole ordeal would just become another memory of how they, as a team, were essentially unstoppable. Harvey and Louis would be on good terms, Rachel and Mike would live happily ever after, Jessica would stay in charge, hell, maybe Donna would even come back to him. Louis could see it now, and this future made him smile.

But there was still the other outcome.

Harvey fails, Mike goes to jail for seven goddamn years, the rest of them following shortly after.

Louis could cry at that thought.

Donna and Rachel wouldn’t last a day in prison.

He was going to do this, for the sake of the firm, for the sake of all of them. It was the only way.

(And that’s what he would tell himself when he confronted Anita Gibbs later that night.)

* * *

_“You do no time, and all I need in return is one Harvey Reginald Specter.”_

Rachel could feel the anger bubbling inside her, but she bit it down. Mike stood in front of her, a hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

“How long?” she said sternly, and she could see the exasperation written on Mike’s face.

“Rachel—” Mike breathed, but she shook her head stubbornly.

“No, Mike, how long would you have to be away for?” She didn’t know what she expected. What amount of time would even be acceptable enough for her to say ‘Okay Mike take the deal, I’ll see you on the other side’? She couldn’t stand the thought of Mike behind bars for even a second, it all just felt so wrong. 

“Two years.” He finally said, and the words sunk in like a knife. Two years. Two whole years, two birthdays, two Christmases, two everything’s Mike would miss because he was too goddamn stubborn to put their lives before Harvey’s.

To put her life before Harvey’s.

Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn.

“No, Mike. No, you can't.” Rachel said it like it was a fact: _No, Mike, you’re not taking the goddamn deal._

“Do you know how much time I'm facing if I'm found guilty?” Mike asked exasperatedly, and Rachel had to hold back everything inside her that wanted to slap the shit out of him.

“You're not gonna be found gui—”

“Seven years!” Mike yelled, and Rachel felt her stands start to shake.

“You’re not going to be found guilty.” Rachel tried her best to sound calm but how the _hell_ was she supposed to be calm when the love of her life had a chance to walk free and didn’t. “Mike, please, I saw you up there. You were amazing. You were that same empathetic, brilliant man that I fell in love with. There's no way the jury didn't see that.” She didn't know if she was trying to convince him or herself, but someone needed to believe it. Mike shook his head, a humourless laugh escaping his lips.

“Rachel, the jury is not in love with me. What if all they saw when they looked at me was the same fraud that I've been since the first day I took that job?” Mike was almost screaming at this point, and Rachel flinched, not knowing what to do. He looked at her for a second, face full of emotion before he closed his eyes and sat down on the couch, burying his head in his hands.

“Mike,” Rachel said in the calmest tone manageable. Mike did not look up. Rachel walked over to where the man sat, hesitating for only a second before putting a hand on his back. He was shaking.

“Mike.” she tried again, and Mike finally looked up at her, tears in his eyes.

“Rachel, I can’t rat him out. I won't.” Mike whispered, and Rachel gave him a sad smile.

“I know you can’t. I’m not asking you to. I’m just asking you to have faith.” She wondered if he could tell she was lying.

“I'll… I’ll try, Rachel. I’ll try.” He gave her a small smile, lifting a hand to her face. “You’re crying.” he said simply, and gingerly brushed his thumb over her cheek. More tears fell down her face before she found herself full out sobbing in his arms. Mike held her silently, and she appreciated that he didn’t say anything to try and make the situation better. The fact was, the situation wasn’t going to get any better; She didn’t really believe the jury loved him, they stared at him like he was a stain on their beloved law system. It reminded her of the look Louis had when he had first found out, and they all knew how well he took the news.

The jury hated him as much as Anita Gibbs did, and Rachel didn’t need to be Donna to know that.

* * *

Her phone rang loudly in the middle of the night, abruptly stirring her from her sleep. Groggily, she sat up and rubbed her eyes, peering at the phone on her nightstand. Louis.

“Mmm, who’sit.” Mike murmured, and Rachel looked down at him, his arm draped lazily over the pillow, hair sticking up on all ends. She smiled sweetly at him, running a hand soothingly over his back.

“Shh, It’s nothing, Mike. Go back to sleep.”

“Mmmkay...love you.” and in just a few seconds Mike went back to snoring.

They had spent a while on the couch before going to bed, trying to comfort each other. They hadn’t been talking, but rather sitting in silence while they let what was happening fully settle in. Mike going to prison was a high possibility now, and it was time that they both had accepted that fact.

And, apparently, the fact that he wasn’t going to take any deals.

_Come on, Mike._

Pulling herself from her thoughts, she took her phone and blindly exited into the living room.

“Louis, it’s one AM, what’s wrong?” She sat down on the couch and leaned over to turn on the desk lamp, wincing at the bright light. She rubbed her eyes harshly, trying to make everything not so blurry. She winced at that as well; she had been crying all night and now she had the pain in her eyes to prove it. She hoped they weren’t too swollen by the time morning came.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but if we don’t do anything we’re all going to jail.” This got her attention. Rachel straightened up, wide awake now. Louis' voice was full of panic but also something else... determination?

“Louis, what is it?” Concern filled her voice, and she snuck a glance back at her and Mike’s bedroom. No movement.

“I know you love Mike. He’s amazing, super smart, just the best guy really-”

“Louis.” she exasperated; she was not awake enough to hear Louis’ sarcastic rambles. "Get to the point."

“Okay, sorry, look, Rachel. I have a way to get Mike off the hook. All of us off the hook. Save the whole freaking firm. But—”

“But it involves turning on Harvey. Yeah, I know.” Rachel finished tiredly, and shut her eyes tightly. The lights in the house were way too bright. Her head was hurting. It was too late to be discussing this avenue again.

“Let's take the deal." Words that Rachel really, really wanted to hear from Mike, words that she so badly wanted to listen to.

_"Rachel, I can't rat him out. I won't."_

“Louis, I can’t. You can’t. He’ll hate me, you, he’ll _never_ be able to forgive us.” Harvey had given Mike everything, given him the life he dreamed of. She knew Mike would never in a million years turn on Harvey; Mike had basically told her that he would rather die than do that to his friend. His _best friend_.

He'd rather let her future slip away while the grand Harvey Specter lived his.

_“Rachel, you know there’s no way in hell I am ever going to turn on him, right? You know that?”_

_“Yes, I do.”_

_“Do you?”_

Louis scoffed as if they were talking about ordering from Mike’s most hated pizza place. “Please, I’ve seen the kid bounce back from worse.” he said nonchalantly, and Rachel had to hold back from yelling at him through the phone. Louis didn't understand, he didn't know.

_“I’d rather go to jail than betray him.”_

“No, Louis. He won’t from this. Not from this. Never from this. _Trust me_.” Take the deal, take the fucking deal.

_“I never thought for a second you would even consider an idea so disgusting as turning on Harvey.”_

“Oh, so you’d rather see him in jail? Rachel? Is that it? Because that’s where he’s goddamn heading, hell, that's where all of us are heading—”

_“All I know is that it’s the only sure way to put this to bed and make sure that the only person who is hurt by it is me.”_

_“What about me? Because all I did was love you!”_

“Louis don’t you _dare_ say that shit to me. _Don’t. You. Dare_.” Rachel practically spat, and the voice on the other end went painfully silent. Neither of them spoke for a second. She could hear Louis catching his breath. “You don’t know what I’ve been going through. You think I don't want to take the deal? You think I haven't been thinking about it every time the prospect of Mike going to jail comes up? What the hell do you think I’ve been doing this whole goddamn time, Louis?"

“Rachel.” Louis spoke in a softer tone now, voice full of compassion that Rachel really hated right now. Rachel's vision started to blur, this time not from the lights, and she quickly wiped at her eyes; swollen eyes in the morning was not something she was looking forward to. “I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you want. Of course that’s not what you want.” Louis paused. “But… wouldn’t you rather have him not forgive us then see him rot in prison?”

He had a point.

Rachel hated to admit it, but Louis had a goddamn point.

“Harvey has done nothing but try and help Mike.” Rachel stated instead, and this was true; despite her hating Harvey for bringing them all this mess in the first place, without him she would have never met Mike. She didn’t hate Harvey, not fully, not enough to send him to jail without a second thought. “Without Harvey I would have never met Mike. Mike would have never been able to pursue his dream, I just… I can’t—“

"Rachel, if you love him—"

"What the hell, Louis, of course I love him!" Rachel rose her voice, and quickly glanced at the bedroom. Nothing.

"Then help me take the goddamn deal!" She could hear Louis’ breath on the other line, could _feel_ his patience with her thinning.

"I...Louis—"

“Goddammit Rachel, I’ll do it myself. You can thank me later.”

“Then why’d you call me if you can do it by yourself?”

“Because this isn’t an easy thing to do and I thought you would support me in saving your soon-to-be husband but obviously not so—“

“Louis.” Rachel said halfheartedly, and really _why was she fighting this?_

“Don’t worry, he’ll never know you knew, Rachel, it’ll be all on me. And I don’t care about that if it saves the firm. Just don’t tell him what I’m going to do.”

“Louis I can’t just lie to Mike.” Rachel tried, but in reality she could. She was perfectly capable of lying to him, and maybe that’s what hurt the most.

“I’m not telling you to lie to him, goddammit, I’m telling you to not tell him. If you tell him, it’ll ruin your relationship far beyond repair. This isn’t Logan Sanders, Rachel. He won’t get over it. The kid’s practically in love with Harvey. This will break him.”

This _will_ break him. 

In _love_ with Harvey.

_“All I did was love you!”_

This will _break_ him.

_“What about me?”_

But Mike in jail, that would break her.

“Then goodnight, Louis.” She decided on instead, her voice quivering slightly, and she hears Louis sigh on the other side of the phone. She hadn’t said it, but they both knew this was her agreeing. Agreeing to save Mike.

Agreeing to condemn Harvey.

“Goodnight, Rachel.” The phone clicked, and Rachel made her way back to bed.

—————

“Hey,” a voice said softly, and Rachel blearily opened her eyes. Mike was staring back at her, arm propping himself up. She smiled warmly at him.

“Hey you.” She sat up on the bed and stretched her arms. “You get a good night sleep?”

“As good as a night’s sleep can be these days.” Mike said lightly, but she could see the tiredness in his eyes. “But, it was better than other nights. I’m really glad we talked last night. I know everything is far from okay but… as long as I have you I’m fine.” He sat up and leaned forward, kissing her forehead and lingering slightly before meeting her eyes. He raised a hand to lightly cup her face, and Rachel felt all her emotions bubbling up again against the back of her throat.

“I love you, Rachel.” She let out a half sob, half laugh, before leaning in to hug him fiercely.

_“Louis I can’t just lie to Mike.”_

“I love you so much, Mike.”

* * *

Mike got up and robotically did his morning routine: shower, brush, get dressed. He paused in his closet, staring at his many suits. He thought back to how he used to barely have one, and chuckled at the thought. 

He had come so far.

Mike began flipping through them. What does a man wear on the day that might be his last? He paused at a blue, faintly pinstriped one and smiled. It was one Harvey had given him for his first birthday at the firm, along with a fat tie that he told Harvey would, quote, ‘make him look like a dickhead’. Harvey had laughed before cracking a joke at Mike’s ‘sad skinny ties’. He pulled it down from the closet, removing it carefully from the hanger.

“That’s a nice suit,” Rachel said from behind him, and Mike turned to see her standing fully dressed in the doorway of the closet. He turned back to the suit, running a hand along the lapels of the blazer.

“Harvey gave it to me.” He said simply, as though it explained everything. It seemed to do exactly that, as Rachel nodded and moved to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before silently retreating.

Mike put the suit on and stared in the mirror. It had fit him perfectly; he had even teased Harvey about knowing his exact size.

_“You got it down to the inch!” Mike cried, wearing the suit the day after Harvey had gave it to him. Harvey raised his eyebrows._

_“Did you want it to be big? Of course it fits you.” Harvey looked up from his laptop and watched Mike grin brightly as he smoothed down the suit jacket, tugging on the fabric in awe. Harvey smiled warmly, a look of affection on his face that made Mike's heart burst._

_“How did you know my size?” Mike asked eagerly, and Harvey shrugged nonchalantly, smugly leaning back in his chair._

_“Wild guess.”_

_“Is not. It fits exactly. And this fabric, it's so nice." Mike narrowed his eyes at the older man. “Did you secretly measure me or something? Did you measure me while I was sleeping? That’s really creepy, Harvey.” Harvey raised his eyebrows again, clearly amused by Mike’s childish antics._

_“Yes, Mike, I broke into your apartment and measured you head to toe so I could buy you a suit that fits you to a T.” Harvey said sarcastically, and crossed his arms, looking at Mike like he was an idiot, a look Mike had seen many, many times. “Seriously. It’s like I’m dealing with a child." Harvey declared, more to himself as Mike continued to feel himself up._

_“Okay, yeah, but seriously, Harvey, it’s bothering me now.” Mike took a seat on Harvey’s leather couch, waiting for an answer. Harvey looked like he was about to make fun of Mike some more, then decided against it._

_“Donna.” Harvey settled, and Mike laughed._

_“So Donna measured me while I was sleeping?”_

_“Knowing her, she probably just looked at you and knew.” Harvey snorts, and Mike shakes his head in amusement._

_“I should’ve known it was Donna. You can’t do anything without her.”_

_“Excuse me?” Harvey sat up, feigning offence on his face despite the fact they both knew this to be true._

_“Completely useless. Without her, you wouldn’t even exist.” Mike crossed his arms and smirked, as if daring Harvey to come over there._

_“I’m sorry lippy, don’t you have work to do? Where are those files I asked for?”_

_“Oh, the pro bono? Yeah, I finished that already. Settled. It was super easy. I had them dead to rights.” Mike smiled proudly, leaning back on the couch and clearly making himself comfortable. Harvey stared at him, a slight smirk on his face. Mike’s smile faltered, and he cleared his throat._

_“Uh I should give you the files.” Mike panicked, quickly getting up to hurry out of Harvey’s office._

_“Yes you should, or I’m throwing you to Louis, rookie.” Harvey said sternly, but his bark contained no bite as he was smiling wider than Mike had ever seen. Mike scurried out the glass doors and headed for the bullpen, but not before hearing Donna say through the intercom to Harvey, “You love that kid and you know it.”_

_Mike never heard the reply._

“Mike! Breakfast is ready,” Rachel called from the kitchen, dragging Mike back from his memories, and Mike closed his eyes. Today was going to be tough.

“Coming!” He called. Checking that his fat tie was straight (he still couldn’t get used to the sit of himself in one of Harvey’s fat ties; it looked so odd on him) he left the bedroom, heading for the kitchen to see Rachel standing by the stove flipping pancakes.

“I made you pancakes. It’s a big day today and I wanted to do something special. You always make the breakfast.” Mike smiled warmly at her, and he walked up to place a kiss on her cheek. Turning to the dining table, he sat down and actually grimaced at the sight of the food in front of him.

“Thanks for the breakfast but… you really didn’t have to.” Mike said tentatively, staring at the sickly-looking pancakes before him, a slight frown on his face. How on earth had she managed to make pancakes look _sick?_ Rachel laughed before coming up behind him, wrapping an arm around his neck while holding a plate of sick pancakes herself.

“Gee, Mike, you could just tell me that my pancakes suck.” She tried in an offended tone, but her smile said otherwise. Mike grinned brightly at her before placing another kiss on her cheek. Things almost felt normal. Rachel removed her arm and took the seat opposite him. She stared at him expectantly.

“Well?”

He took a bite of the pancakes and almost choked.

“Mmm, yummy.” He tried but failed to discreetly deposit the pancake that way in his mouth into his tissue.

“Mike!” Rachel swatted his arm, and he chuckled, holding up his hands in defeat.

“Okay, okay! They taste like ash. I don’t know how you do it.” He quickly pushed the plate away from him like it would attack him at any moment. Rachel laughed hard at that, shaking her head disapprovingly.

“Guess I’m just that special, huh?” Mike nodded, grabbing the glass of water beside him and draining it like he was dying of thirst. Rachel scrunched her nose, clearly judging Mike. “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”

“You’re right, Rachel, it doesn’t taste bad. It tastes like death. ”

“Way to be dramatic, Michael. ”

She took a bite of her own pancakes and made a face. Unlike Mike, however, she managed to swallow it without choking.

“Tastes fantastic.”

“Uh huh. Take another bite.” Mike narrowed his eyes at her. She had to admit defeat now.

“Okay, yeah, you’re right. Next time we’ll just eat your horrid cocoa puffs.” Rachel pushed away the plate of pancakes, and Mike smiled triumphantly.

“Don’t disrespect the sacred cocoa puffs. And I wasn’t kidding when I said you shouldn’t have, Harvey and I have plans this morning to meet for breakfast before going to court.” He paused for a second. Court. For all he knew, this could be his last morning as a free man. His last day waking up to Rachel, his last banter with Harvey. He swallowed before planting a smile on his face; no use in worrying Rachel when there was nothing to do but wait. He got up and moved to grab his coat.

“Have fun.” Rachel smiled at him, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Mike smiled back reassuringly and bent over to give her a long kiss. His last kiss, he thought, and had to force himself to not grab her and never let go. He reluctantly pulled back and looked to see tears already forming in her eyes. Guess she thought the same thing. “See you at the verdict.” Rachel said quietly, her voice a little raw, and Mike nodded, turning to leave before he wasn't able to anymore.

“Mike?” He was halfway out the door before she called his name. He turned to see her standing in the living room, blinking back tears.

“Yeah?” Rachel looked at him, an odd look on her face that he couldn’t quite place.

“I’m sorry.” she said softly, and Mike had no clue what she could have been sorry for, but at this moment he somehow felt the exact same way.

“I’m sorry too.” he said, before continuing down the hall.

He didn't look back.


	2. innocent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you regret it?” It as more of a statement than a question. Mike averted his gaze from Harvey’s piercing one, afraid of what he might find. Harvey sighed deeply.
> 
> “Mike, look at me.” Mike made eye contact with the man before him, unsure of what to expect.
> 
> “I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back to some more pain lol. we be thriving on angst haha.

He met Harvey at the bagel cart outside of the office. It had become routine for them to grab a bagel and a coffee together during lunch, and Mike couldn’t think of a better place to say goodbye to the man who gave him everything.

As Mike approached the cart, he could make out Harvey already standing there, chatting with the bagel guy with a coffee and bagel in hand.

“Hey,” He said once he reached him, hands in his pockets. Harvey turned towards him, giving the bagel guy a goodbye nod.

“Hey yourself, nice suit.” Harvey handed him a bagel and Mike smiled. He would miss this.

_“Have faith.”_

Maybe he wouldn’t have to miss it.

“Really? Kinda weird looking to me, especially the tie. What kind of guy wears this kind of tie, hm?” Mike held out his tie with a look of disgust on his face, and Harvey snorted.

“The kind of guy who has any sort of fashion sense.” Harvey replied coolly, and took a sip of his coffee.

Mike quirked an eyebrow at him. “Really? Gonna tear down a guy who’s facing jail today? Thought you cared, Harvey.” Harvey’s expression turned stern, and he stayed silent, instead taking bite of his bagel.

“Come on, Harvey, laugh at my joke. It’s my way of coping.” Mike playfully hit Harvey on the arm, earning a glare from the older man.

“You’re shit at coping then, rookie. And for your information it was a terrible joke, it wasn’t funny, and it makes me want to throw you into prison myself.” Harvey paused, taking another bite of his bagel. “See, that’s funny because you might go to prison today.”

“Annnnnnd there it is!” Mike grinned, and Harvey simply rolled his eyes. Mike knew today was tough and nothing to laugh about, but him and Harvey joking around about it like it was no big deal made the world seem just a bit more right.

It made everything feel normal again.

Besides, there was nothing they could do about his case at this point; it was a waiting game, and any stressing would be moot at this point. Mike was just glad Harvey was putting on a brave face, if not for Mike but for himself. Just a couple days ago Harvey had been ready to give himself up.

_For him._

Harvey was always trying to take the blame for Mike and just once Mike wished he would _shut the hell up_ because there was no way on ‘God’s green earth’ he would let Harvey ever take the fall for anything he did.

_“The difference is I did the crime!”_

Mine thought back to when he was hauled in by Woodall, how Harvey had yelled at him to turn on him.

_“Harvey, I don't care what Harold gives them on me, I'm not giving them you.”_

_“I want to tell you a story.” Mike scoffed and crossed his arms in annoyance. Now was not the time and place for one of Harvey’s ‘life lessons’._

_“I don’t want to hear a story.” Mike bit back childishly, but Harvey brushed past it._

_“It's about the time I decided to tell my dad about my mom.” Mike was still thoroughly annoyed, but a story about Harvey’s mother did peak his interest. Slightly. “You remember what I told you about her?”_

_“Harvey,” Because despite wanting to hear the story, Mike_ really _didn’t have time for this._

_“I was twenty, out of the house, and I told her I would never tell him as long as she never brought anyone_ —I _came home to do laundry one day, and I heard_ —“ _Harvey stopped, his breathing a little more than uneven at this point. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I heard, and then I saw, and I told him that night.” Harvey closed his eyes for a moment, letting the story sink in. “Because sometimes it's better to tell.”_

_They were quiet for a moment, and Mike wasn’t sure what to say except: “She deserved that.”_ _  
  
_

_“So do I.” Harvey said simply, and goddammit this is what the fucking story was for. “This whole thing was my idea. I gave the go-ahead. It's me Woodall wants.”_ _  
  
_

_“Well, he's not getting you!” Mike argued back; he could feel the anger rising in the back of his throat. How could Harvey not understand how much he meant to him?_

_“Yes, he is.” Harvey’s tone made Mike want to punch him. Hard, and repeatedly._

_“No, I don't care what happens in that room, I'm not giving you up!” Mike stood up at this point, visibly shaking with rage. He could be tortured for all he cared; never had the thought crossed his mind to rat on Harvey. Never._

_“Don't be a fool.” Harvey stood up, challenging._

_“Don't be an asshole!” Mike screamed, pounding his fists on the table._

_“Listen to me, goddammit, I'm giving you permission_ — _”_

_“I don't give a shit what you're giving me!”_

_“I hired a fraud. And then we crossed the line with Clifford Danner, then with Lola Jensen, and then with these witnesses, and to top it all off, we suborned perjury with Edward Darby._ _  
_ _If it comes to it, you point the finger at me, you got that?”_

Harvey was always protecting him.

“Mike? You okay?”

“Hm?” Mike looked at Harvey who was staring contently at him, brows furrowed with concern. “Yeah, I’m good.” Mike breathed, hoping it came out convincingly. Apparently not, as Harvey rested a hand on Mike’s shoulder comfortingly.

“You sure? You blanked out for a second there.” Harvey narrowed his eyes at him, obviously not believing he was fine.

“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just… a lot.” Harvey paused for a second before nodding understandingly. He gave his shoulder a slight squeeze before removing his hand.

“Look, Mike, whatever the verdict is, I’ll be there for you every step of the way, you hear me? You’re not alone.” Mike didn’t notice the lump that had formed in his throat. He swallowed harshly and plastered on a smile.

“Thanks, Harvey. Really.” Mike paused, biting his lip. There was one thing he wanted to ask Harvey, but a part of him thought he was better off not knowing.

As if he could sense the question, Harvey waited patiently and said softly, “What is it?”

“Do you… regret it?”

“What?” Harvey looked taken aback and possibly a little hurt; maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

“Do you regret… everything.” It as more of a statement than a question. Mike averted his gaze from Harvey’s piercing one, afraid of what he might find. Harvey sighed deeply.

“Mike, look at me.” Mike made eye contact with the man before him, unsure of what to expect.

“I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.” Harvey’s words surrounded him with warmth and care. Mike could feel the prickle of tears behind his eyes and he struggled fiercely to hold them back. If this hadn’t been such a serious moment, Mike would have cracked a joke about Harvey caring about him.

“Harvey, I…” He what? What was Mike going to say? The words trailed off and Mike stood there, staring at the man who he owed everything to. Harvey looked at him, an expression on his face that Mike had never seen before. “Harvey,” he tried again. “I—” 

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the dynamic duo.” a voice interrupted from behind them, and they turned to see Anita Gibbs standing with two police officers by her side. She had her arms crossed and looked smugly at them, her lips curled into a victorious smile.

She was _proud._

Something was _wrong._

Harvey seemed to notice too, and immediately took the defensive. “Cut the crap, Gibbs. What the hell do you want now?” Gibbs grinned victoriously at them, making Mike feel uneasy.

“Harvey Reginald Specter, you’re under arrest for conspiracy to commit fraud and for the cover up of your little boy toy here. You— well, you know the rest.” Gibbs grinned as the two police officers stepped forward, handcuffs in hand. Harvey stood still, for once speechless, and Mike had to hold back every muscle in his body to prevent himself from _beating the shit out of this woman_ and fleeing the country with Harvey.

_“_ Bullshit, on what grounds? You have no proof; I never turned in Harvey.” Mike took a step in front of his friend, an arm stretched out to prevent anyone from coming near. Harvey stayed uncharacteristically silent.

“I never said _you_ had to turn him in,” Gibbs stated simply, and Mike felt the world around him begin to collapse.

_“I never thought for a second you would even consider an idea so disgusting as turning on Harvey.”_

_“Of course the idea popped into my head_ — _”_

_“The only reason I thought about it is because I am scared to death of you going to prison—”_

He could hear his breath quickening and could hear someone saying his name but all he could think was _of course of course the idea popped into my head of course—_

“... Ross?” Gibbs questioned, a little uncertain of what to do. The police officers had stopped moving towards Harvey, and Mike took this as a sign to drop his arms and hold them around his stomach because _holy shit he was going to be so fucking sick—_

“Mike,” Harvey’s voice broke through the panic alarms in his head, and Mike turned around to face him, face broken.

“Rachel?” he whispered questioningly, and Harvey’s face softened.

“Louis.” Harvey replied quietly, yet his answer didn’t supply Mike with any relief or reassurance.

_“The only reason I thought about it is because I am scared to death of you going to prison—”_

“Take him in.” Gibbs voice cut in, and the officers proceeded to handcuff Harvey. “You should really be thanking me, Ross. Now you can go to Columbia with your girlfriend and _actually_ become a lawyer.” They hauled Harvey away towards a black car on the side of the street. Harvey looked back at him with a look Mike couldn’t quite understand.

_“What about me? Because all I did was love you!”_

“You can still take me. What if I confess to being a fraud right now?” Mike asked desperately, ignoring what Gibbs said completely. He hated how pathetic he sounded, how pleading his voice was, and yet all he could think about was how _no fucking way_ he was letting Harvey go to prision.

About to get put in the car, Harvey swivelled around, anger flashing on his face. “Mike, goddammit, if you—”

“Then I’d say you’re shit outta luck, kid.” Gibbs said sickly, and jerked her head towards Harvey. “We got bigger fish to fry.” She walked towards the car, about to leave, but swirled around at the last second.

“It’s sweet, Ross, really. How much you care about him. No wonder your fiancée wanted to throw him to the wolves the second she got the chance.” 

_“I never thought for a second you would even consider an idea so disgusting as turning on Harvey.”_

But he also never thought Rachel would cheat on him.

* * *

“Come on, come on, Mike, pick up.” Rachel muttered, her phone glued to the side of her head. She was waiting at the courthouse and neither Harvey nor Mike had shown up yet, and the verdict was supposed to come in—

“Rachel!” Rachel swung around and saw Mike running towards her. She quickly hung up her phone and went to meet him halfway. He grabbed onto her, clutching her arms tight enough to probably leave marks afterwards.

“Mike, what the hell? You were supposed to be here hours ago, the verdict—”

“The verdict isn’t coming in,” Mike breathed out, and Rachel finally _looked_ at him, and something was definitely wrong. He looked panicked, terrified even. His eyes were bloodshot and it looked as though he had been crying. “Rachel, tell me you didn’t know. You didn’t do this.” Mike’s eyes were pleading, desperate, and deep down Rachel knew exactly what had happened but maybe if she prayed hard enough— 

“Mike, are—are you okay? I don't—” Rachel stuttered, panic rising in the back of her throat and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from those _bloodshot eyes_ —

“Harvey was arrested.” Mike’s voice cracked, and Rachel felt all the blood drain from her face.

_“Wouldn’t you rather have him not forgive us then see him rot in prison?”_

Rachel stared at Mike, mouth open but no words tumbling out. The emotions that flashed across his face were mixtures of hurt, betrayal, anger,

Hate?

Rachel tried to form a sentence, to get her mind working, but it was as if the gears had simply stopped turning; there was nothing she could say that would remedy this, but that didn’t mean she would stop trying.

Maybe his love for her would be enough.

“Mike, please.” Rachel whispered, tears flooding her eyes, because at this point she would say anything, _anything_ , to get him to stop looking at her like that. Like she was a traitor, like she had been the one to personally arrest the great Harvey Specter.

_“If you tell him, it’ll ruin your relationship far beyond repair.”_

That’s what she thought would have happened with Logan; he had been so cold, so distant, and his eyes, it was _always_ his eyes.

His eyes right now seemed to wish it were her instead of Harvey.

“Was this Louis or was this you?” The words were like acid, and his grip on her arms tightened even further.

“Mike, you’re hurting me—”

“Was. This. You.”

_“This will break him.”_

Rachel used to looked at him and see everything; the verdict coming in, Mike being found innocent, the immense relief. Mike continuing at the firm and eventually becoming name partner. Her and Mike getting married, and it would be a big wedding, ones filled with flowers and laughter and so, so much _love._ They would start a family, not right away, but once Rachel had finished Law school and got a stable job. She would have two kids in the end, a girl and a boy. They would name them after his grandmother, after his parents, and she would be fine with letting him choose both the names because she loved him and this was everything she could ever have wanted in life. They would grow old together watching their kids grow up. She would be happy. _They_ would be happy.

She could feel the future slip away.

“Mike…” and that seemed to be all he needed to hear. Mike released her arms and took a step back, nodding sharply. “Mike.” Rachel tried again, more firm, but her voice was cracking, and everything around her seemed to start spinning.

“It’s over.” His voice was devoid of all emotion; he stood before her like a statue, as if he were simply delivering a message. As if she were nothing but a stranger to him.

_“All I did was love you!”_

He took a step back from her, as if just being near her would hurt him.

He wasn’t wrong.

“M-Mike...” she stuttered out, and the room began to spin faster. She could feel the blood rushing through here veins and her heart pumping in her ears and her vision was going blurry—

Was this devastation or panic?

She could feel the tears rolling down her face and she wished to God that everything could just fall away, that she could go back and somehow change her decision—

Did she regret her decision?

He hated her. Mike hated her, the love of her life _despised_ her and yet, she couldn’t tell if she regretted any of it. She wished she could explain to him her reasoning, that she did this for _him_ , that Harvey would have done the exact same thing, hell, he _told_ Mike to do the same thing.

But even after all that, Rachel didn’t know if she would do it all again.

She reached out towards him, trying to cling on to him, to make him understand, but he jerked away like she had just stung him. The look on his face was pure disgust, pure loathing, and it made Rachel sick to her stomach; that look was for his enemies on the other side of a case, for Anita Gibbs.

Right now, that look was for her.

“Don’t. Don’t ever touch me again.” And Rachel watched as her future walked away.

* * *

“So, you’ve taken down the great Harvey Specter. Now what? You gonna celebrate?” Harvey leaned back in his seat, arms crossed in a defensive position. At least they had taken the handcuffs off.

Harvey wasn’t going to lie; he was scared out of his goddamn mind, but it wouldn’t do anyone any good for him to panic. He thought of the look on Mike’s face and God, the kid had been more afraid than he was. Harvey stared blankly at Gibbs, thankful for his nights of poker to keep a straight face. He needed to find out what she had on him, or if she had anything on him.

No, that was stupid, of course she had something on him. Anita Gibbs was smart, and judging by the look on her face, Harvey had the dreaded feeling she had him by the balls.

She stood across the interrogation room, smugness written all over her body as she mirrored his defensive stance.

“Something like that, unless you give me the bigger fish.”

“Excuse me? I’m the biggest fucking fish you’re gonna get.” Harvey leaned forward, arms resting on the cold metal table in front of him. He raised an eyebrow quizzically. “By the way, you still haven’t shown me a shred of proof that shows I knew about Mike Ross.” As soon as he knew how much she had, he could bring it around, he could get out of this. He knew it was cocky, but to hell with it, he was Harvey fucking Specter, and there was no way in hell her evidence was anything but circumstantial.

“Alright, you cocky son of a bitch. I’ll show you proof, I got a shit ton of proof,” She looked as though he had just given her the Christmas present of the year as she almost gleefully reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a black rectangular—

_Shit._

It was Louis’ fucking Dictaphone.

Fucking.

Harvey felt all the colour drain from his face.

“Judging by the look on your face, I think you know exactly what this is.”

_“You listen to me. I may have hired a fraud, but you're the one who had the chance to turn him in and you used his secret to get what you always wanted.”_

_“I don’t want to go to prison, Harvey.”_

Fucking Louis Litt the piece of shit god fucking dammit—

“That’s not even all I have, some little birdy handed me an signed affidavit stating you _knew_ Mike was a fraud, can you believe it? This really isn’t your day—”

“What do you want?” Harvey asked coolly, trying to keep his calm facade up, and Gibbs smirked, taking the seat opposite of him. She leaned in towards him, and he could smell the sick scent of her godawful perfume. Harvey leaned back again, crossing his arms once more in an attempt to look composed. She squinted her eyes at him for a moment, as if studying him, and Harvey knew she could see right through him.

He was scared out of his fucking mind.

“Well, I wanted Jessica but we all know you’re never giving her up, so instead I’ll settle for seeing you rot in prison. And it won’t be one of those soft, cushy white collar prisons, it’ll be the ones that strip you of your humanity, of yourself, of everything that makes you happy, and when you’re finally out of that hell hole at the ripe age of almost dead I’ll still be here, happy and thriving and making sure whatever life you have left is gone because _you make me sick.”_

“Glad to know.” Harvey replied calmly, making a show of not showing her words affecting him, because of fucking course they did and he could feel his blood pressure rising fucking Louis goddamn fucking Litt and—

“But at least your boyfriend’s safe, right? Left me a million voicemails practically _begging_ me to let him take the fall. Very convincing, for a fake lawyer. In fact, I was almost tempted to take his deal too. You want to know his deal, Harvey?”

Harvey stayed silent.

“He was willing to confess everything and go to jail for ten whole years, three more than before, if all I did was leave you and your friends alone.”

Fucking Mike goddamn Ross _._ Harvey couldn’t even tell who he was more furious with.

No, that was a lie. It was still fucking Louis.

Gibbs laughed coldly, and Harvey could only imagine what his face might have looked like just then.

“You wanna know a little secret, though?” Her voice was filled with delight, and Harvey held back everything inside him that wanted to strangle the ever living fuck out of her.

“Enlighten me.” Harvey spat, and Gibbs grinned. Harvey could feel something was wrong, the way she was grinning at him, he knew what she was about to say and please God don’t say it because if she didn’t say it it wouldn’t be true—

“Jury was going to find him innocent.”

The door to the interrogation room burst open and Jessica Pearson waltzed through, head held high as if she was going into battle.

As if she could win.

“My client’s not saying anything else until you get your goddamn ass out of here,” Jessica spoke confidently, as if Harvey’s whole world hadn’t just been turned upside down.

_Innocent._

_“_ Gladly. Remember, Harvey, if you don’t make a full confession, I don’t care what deal Louis Litt made, I’ll still go after everyone you love in court.”

_Innocent._

“The signed confession will make everything easier, Harvey. Let me know when you’re ready to spill.”

_Innocent innocent innocent innocent—_

Gibbs smiled at Jessica before she made her exit, slamming the door shut. The room was silent for a moment as Jessica sat opposite Harvey, reaching warming hands across the table to comfort him. But he didn’t need comfort, he needed to beat the shit out of Louis fucking Litt.

But really, he didn’t want to do that either.

No, scratch that, beating the shit out of Louis would feel really fucking good right now.

But Harvey knew Louis was just thinking of keeping the firm together, keeping everyone safe, and a part of him was almost thankful that Louis had saved everyone he loved.

Had saved Mike.

Mike.

Mike could go on and live his life, start a family with Rachel, practice law legally. Gibbs had even offered him a chance to go to Stanford but—

_“The jury was going to find him innocent.”_

And that’s what made Harvey hurt the most.

“Harvey…” Jessica soothed, and Harvey realized he had started crying. He pulled his hands away from hers to wipe his face. He felt like a child, crying in front of Jessica, but at this point he didn’t care. Hell, if she had hugged him he probably would’ve hugged back and never let go.

Harvey knew deep down he deserved this; he did the crime, it was his decision to hire Mike Ross and therefore his decision to put the whole firm in jeopardy. And for what? For his own amusement? Because he was too stuck up to hire another Harvard jackass like they’d done for years?

But even after all that, he wasn’t lying when he talked to Mike; he didn’t regret any of it. He would do it all again in a heartbeat, and that was the truth.

He didn’t regret a single thing about Mike Ross.

“Jessica, I’m scared.” Harvey whispered, and Jessica nodded.

“I know, Harvey. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> questions comments concerns anything is welcome. :)


End file.
